Man cuts off own head with chainsaw.
(sorry, for some reason I can't get the link button to work.)
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1422241.ece
Edit: Now with linking goodness! Opening in a new window even!
The other day a guy asked me how windchimes worked. I processed that for about 2 seconds, and then I said to myself, "Holy shit, I have to make some changes in my life."
-clerk at Salvation Army thrift store